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Steps to feel more self-confident

1. Develop self-awareness

By understanding the specific situations in which you feel uncomfortable and you have doubts, you’ll be clear where to start from your changes and you will be able to root the causes. You may well complete journal writing the times you feel lack of confidence or self-belief and other relevant details of the situations. Then review your notes and look for any themes.

2. Overcome fear of failure

Simply ask yourself the following questions “What am I afraid will happen if I fail?”, “If I wasn’t completely successful what would I learn?” and ‘If I wasn’t completely successful what would I do next”.

3. Challenge a fear of disapproval

It gives us a security feeling to get approvals from other persons, but if you find this has a negative impact on how you think and behave it’s time to make change. Be aware of how you feel about a situation, look for times when you are going against your gut feeling or feel uncomfortable with your decision. Then ask yourself “What is stopping me from following my intuition?” and “If I knew that my decisions and my feelings were as important as anyone else’s what would I do?”

4. Be assertive

Assertiveness gives assurance that what are telling is actually being heard and it is given the appropriate attention. Just do not confound with confrontation as between them it may be a fine limit line. Instead explain giving relevant arguments, the facts and how you feel about them using calm way. No one can argue with your feelings, as they’re yours.

5. Stop comparing yourself with others

One of the biggest wastes of your precious time and energy, because you are only seeing the others performance at face value and people are prone to exaggerate or lie. Reallocate your time much better putting your efforts into being the best you can be instead.

6. Replace the fear of authority

It is a fact that many confident persons may lose their self-belief when they interact with a superior or a more experienced person. In such situations just remind yourself that your opinion is as valid as anyone’s and behave with the same respect, as you would expect from him or her.

7. Avoid the word “should”

Replacing it with “could” which in is a lot softer and suggests alternatives. Should is harsher and a great weapon to beat yourself up with. For example “I should have stayed late at work last night, the others did, I probably looked lazy” versus ‘I could have stayed at work late last night”

8. Silence your inner critic

The inner critic is that voice in your head, which is negative puts doubts in your mind such as “you’re not good enough” or “what you just said sounded really stupid”. You can easily redirect it to positive affirmations.

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